Liar For Hire

“It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit”

Noel Coward

Imagine for a minute it’s the day after boxing day.

And there’s a stack of rugs you couldn’t do before Christmas but promised to have them done for customers before New years.

Now the employee who you were depending on to do the cleaning gives you a call.

They tell you they can’t make it in today and gives you a pretty convincing story about some horrendous incident that happened to them.

You’re shocked and supportive. You tell them no problem and to take tomorrow off too. After all you are one helluva an employer who wants their employees to feel like you care, right?

So now the relaxing week you had planned to be with family is all shot to hell.

But what you don’t know is your employee was out drinking the entire night before and has one mother of a headache today.

There was no way they could come in to work.

Nor could they tell you the actual truth.

What they could do is call a company like Paladin Deception.

It’s a company founded by a former private eye who specializes in, among other things, creating alibi’s for people.

Not only will they create an alibi for you, they’ll even back it up with phone call, emails, whatever it takes.

Need someone to make an alibi phone call for you? They’ll do it.

Need someone to receive a phone call and act like a job reference, an old landlord, a doctor or whatever? They’ll do it.

Paladin won’t break the law and also will not lie to law enforcement, fire protection or the medical establishment.

Other than that everything is open for business.

It’s not surprising a company specializing in selling deception exists.

Nor is it surprising there are those who claim they to be marketing experts for our industry but in fact are not.

What I have found is most of these so called marketing experts just regurgitate what they have read from someone else.

It’s not like they actually tested what they are selling in THEIR OWN rug cleaning company to see how well it works. They just talk about general stuff that works across most industries.

Sure a lot of marketing ideas they present can make an impact.

But the question is HOW MUCH of an impact does it really make?

If you talk to a Google Ad expert for example, they’ll tell you they can get you a lot of clicks to your website.

I agree, but so what?

Is your website optimized to make them want you to call?

And if someone actually does call, do all the people who answer your phone have a closing rate of 90% or higher?

You see you can get all the traffic in the world to your website but if it doesn’t produce phone calls it’s a waste of money.

Same thing with the phone.

99.99% of new customers will contact you by phone to get a price.

If you can’t turn those price shoppers into customers immediately you’ve wasted whatever money you spent marketing to get them to call.

So here’s the bottom line.

As far as I am concerned anyone trying to sell you shiny new marketing programs not based on results they have achieved in their own rug cleaning company is basically a liar for hire.

They’re just dangling a shiny new object to hypnotise you into paying them money.

If what they “teach” doesn’t work, it’s easy for them to say it’s your fault you didn’t implement it properly.

I hate that.

I have rug cleaners who call me for advice on how to get more business think there is a silver bullet they can buy.

There isn’t.

The best any of these shiny marketing objects can ever really do is get traffic to your website or calls to your phone.

If you haven’t mastered the basics you will be hemorrhaging money and wasting time on any thing else.

In my business I concentrated on two things at the very beginning.

How to convert my traffic to my website into phone calls.

How to convert phone call into customers.

After I mastered that THEN I took the next step – not before.

So, have you really mastered those two things?

If so, you should be rolling in rugs and profits right now like me.

If not, well then you have a choice.

You can hire a liar.

Or you can let me show you EXACTLY what I have done to make my area rug cleaning business dominate my market area. The kinds of things I’ve done that took me months of trial and error to learn how to perfect.

Stephen “Dusty” Roberts

P.S. By the way, when you start get busier, new problems will crop up. Like having to process the rug cleaning even faster or risk losing your new customers because you’ve gone over their “golden zone” wait time. Don’t get caught with your operational pants down. Be sure you have the right cleaning equipment ready to go the second business picks up when you implement your new found knowledge.